below is a journal entry i wrote today, if you are wondering
what tha sam hill is hapn'n in my cabeza.


but first, MAY 17 @ THE FILLMORE, i will toss mad details upon
thy heads next week, but this is a quick note to say:
We are running out of tickets, and i wanna make sure any
bassheads that desire to be a part of this
extremely special night are in fact able to do so.


After competing in an Ultimate Fighting Championship,
Mudwrestle, Brawl-For-it-All with the Powers The Be,
and the Powers that love Budwieser, etc, (you really would
not believe the hoops we have had to jump through, lawdamighty!)
we have emerged battered and bruised, but thankfully we have:

1. very limited tickets at 5 & Diamond in SF, run dont walk.
They are lowest price available (22.50$) and if you care, we are
not makin a DIME on this event, we are running tickets at the
LOWEST possible cause, and bringing the HIGHEST possible
production posible. (this is kind of a downlow thing @ 5&D so
keep it cool)


2. This Sunday, Mother's Day, :) the box office at The
Fillmore is open from 10am-4pm (i am SO fecking sorry, we were
originally told 4pm-10pm and after half of my friends finished
texting me frusterated messages i am here to say SORRY! the
correct time is 10am-4pm THIS SUNDAY for advance tickets with no
high fees (yeck!)


3. They will be available night of as well of course, but
will sell out at some point, so thats the best way to guarnatee
you get in.

4. Early arrival is a MUST, we have so much in store, i will
hit you on Monday with deets.

5. i wanted to tell you, in case you didnt see the tickets
that the Fillmore printed yet (god bless their hearts), there is
this DRINK...its called BUDWEISER. I doubt you have heard of it,
so i am really relieved that they printed an ad for it on our
tickets, but anyways, in case you did not get a ticket, and in
case you had like 0.0003 microseconds free from having
advertisements rammmmed oh so deeply into your anus, i just
wanted TO MAKE SURE that everyone knows, in case they dont, that
there is just this *drink* called BUDWEISER. and its a beer, and
you can BUY IT, at 7-11. or at Safeway. And their slogan is "True
Music" which is so cool, like SOOOOO COOL! As soon as i read
their slogan, i was like, OH THEY RELATE TO ME!!!!! OH WOW! I
GOTTA TELL EVERYONE ABOUT BUDWEISER NOW!

So yes, just in case you didnt read the sentences i just wrote,
and did not get a special ticket to Bassnectar that The Fillmore
printed Budweiser ads on, we just REALLY WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU
UNDERSTAND: There is a DRINK. Its called BUDWEISER. it is FOR
SALE. you can BUY IT at all kinds of places like 7-11 or Safeway,
or even maybe at a Food Market, like the one at CHEVRON.


And if you have trouble finding it, just pull out your VERIZON
PHONE (by the way, Verizon' is a COMPANY. They make CELL PHONES.
they will SELL YOU ONE. You can BUY IT. Its SO COOL. They are
cool. They care about you)



ok, so yeah...had just about MY FILL of fuckin corporate
headfuckery for the week.


Gang, i was the MOST upset (i know its trite, but...) about
that. Nobody in this kru had any idea they were printing Bud Ads
on the tickets...not like it fucking really MATTERS at all, but
its the principle. Fuck that.


So that said, in the spirit of commercialism, we are going to
give away some FREE PASSSES>


The First person to email guestlist@bassnectar.net with the
TOPIC HEADING:

"SF BASS"
and in the body of the email, give us a link to the dope NSA&ATT
billboard project by THE BILLBOARD LIBERATION FRONT, or, the
coolest photo of one of the Freeway Blogger's hard work, you get
TWO FREE PASSES TO THE FILLMORE TO COME GRIND OUT TO BEATS
ANTIQUE, HEAVYWEIGHT DUB CHAMPION & APOSTLE, ZION i,
BASSINYOURFACENECTAR, AND A VERY INTENTIONAL COLLECTION OF
THINKERS, SPEAKERS, AND ACTIVISTS WHO WANT TO INSPIRE YOU.



And as you know, the following weeked is LIGHTENING INNA
BOTTLE Down in Santa Barbara...i play Sunday night at 9pm, i fly
into Santa Barbara at 8pm, so if you have a God, please pray to
his or her that i make it in time. This festival will be RAM
PACKED WITH ULTRA SPECIALNESS FROM START TO FINISH.

And in the spirit of commercialism, lets give away 2 free passes.


Same thing, except this time, email guestlist@bassnectar, in
the subject put LIB, and in the body send us a link about where
you can go to donate like...5 $ even, to help the cyclone victims
in Myanmar.


And you win 2 free ass passes, full weekend. BOOMB!!! Much
love to the Do Lab KRU!!!!!!
:)



So i wrote this little ditty this morning, its called Laying
On The Floor. Its a true story.






last night i had an interesting experience. it was kind of an
insane experience.

I was doing as i do, when alone in the studio, i will
intermittently rise from my desk of knobs and screens and buttons
and start "dancing"... i execute some really exquisite moves,
nobody is watching, nobody is interrupting me to talk, nobody
will be hurt or offended if i don't talk back. And depending on
the music playing, i can physically experience some pretty
serious stuff.

As it happens last night i was working on this song that i
initially started writing in reverence to a dead man i read
about, who i saw a bit of myself in, and i wanted to sense the
kind of urgent moment of peaking crystalization (the final moment
of the awareness of existence) immediately before vanishing from
that plane. So i have been tampering with different melodies,
trying to play things forward and backward over each other, using
extremely demonic keys with ultra softness and dreamy warmth, but
its very frantic, and completely insane.


So i was "dancing", if you will, and if you won't then i was
twitching...more like kind of flexing all of my muscles in wierd
ways at rapid speeds, including my face and my brain and my
fingers and my everything, and i think i was sobbing but i wasnt
crying, i was just heaving...i think there was anger surging from
weird untapped oceans, and there was rage (cyclones, governments,
Budweiser Ads on the tickets to my events, the irony of feeling
so vicsiously anticorporate and living in a corporate world,
spending all my money on the demons i hate most, like Verizon,
Chevron, GE, Rupert Murdoch, etc) and there was intense joy -
like an 'unbearable lightness' - a feeling like none of that
could touch me...ME, as in my soul, it can rape my body, but it
cannot have my thoughts


And i was flexing into this, kind of a one man mosh pit, with
my eyes clenched so tight i think i was getting a headache, and
then i came to and i was on the floor.


The music was still playing, but i was laying there, kind of
crumpled. But i didnt want to get up. I pretended i was
quadrapalegic, i cant even spell that word, much less imagine
that reality, but i pretended it, then i rolled over onto my
back, and i chose not to get up for several hours.


i let myself feel all the seething stress inside of me. The
trite shit like prepping for shows, finishing albums, pleasing
your coworkers, pleasing your friends, etc. And the heavier shit
like watching as a world unravels - like having to watch someone
kill your family, while they tie your arms behind your back, and
force your eyes open. Again, not that i can truly imagine that
horror, but i know that it exists, and i know that EQUIVALENTS
exist, and regardless, it was just a metaphor anyway.


The point is i feel like each moment is so tender and so full
of potential...bursting, quivering potential, and i dont think i
ever developed the basic common sense, or adult ability to filter
that shit out, and just get shit done. That is probably why i am
not leading a normal life, and probably why i think i will live
hard and die fast.

But there i was on the floor. Thinking about all the people
who hate me. All the gossip i hear, all the shitty things i read,
all the terribly judgmental expressions of dissatisfaction that
you are basically inviting when you put yourself into the public
eye. And while i hear an item of negativity maybe once for every
hundered or more positive things, i was laying there letting them
soak in.


Realizing all i really want to do is please everyone (you
can't) and fix everything (you won't) and do it right now,
because that is just how i am.

It is intense to be riding the current of a dream you had, or
others have had, that is essentially formless and written in
alien code.

It is intense to be giving birth to something that is under a
microscope of speculation and judgement even as it is squeezing
out of you and is totally unprepared for final presentation. But
there is no final presentation. i don't think we ever make it to
that point, because we die first, which is why life can be sad,
even when it is so beautiful.


I realized that things are moving so fast, that i have grown
unable to tend to one on one relationships like i used to. I used
to make it an essential point that i basically knew EVERYONE in
the music scene, and paid them respect and attention. Kind of
never letting people just be fans, cuz i would make them my
friends. Now that time runs at 8 million times the speed, and all
16 of my selves are working overtime, i thought about how i
probably have neglected thousands of people this year, not
listening to them talk enough, not giving them enough personal
validation.

And i am so glad for that, because i am no longer interested
in making myself able to do that, i am interested in moving on,
at a rapid pace, and hoping that somewhere out there in the
brains of people exists a memory of who i really am on the
inside, where doubt and rumor cannot touch or maim, where there
is a laughing boy with a bowl cut and no shame, who wants to
share his fruit roll up with the whole class and make a beautiful
drawing.

I didn't get up because it felt good there on the floor. Had
anyone walked in on me, they would have thought i have surely
lost the plot (i think i have) but it was insanely peaceful.


it was almost like a cocoon where i recharged, and decided to
keep moving forward, letting the haters hate harder and the
lovers love deeper, and trying to reflect with greater intensity
this oddball intention i have had since before i can remember
which is to touch as many people as i can with this weird sense
of compassion and inspiration that is inside of me.


Pretty much everything i do or say can be made to sound
outrageously lame. And as i ricochet around inside this glass
ball of honesty with myself, laying like a goon on my floor, i
made a little promise to keep moving forward, maybe letting my
creative pace dictate my schedule a bit more often than the
hysterical, obsessive, manic voice in my head. i will at least
let them trade off more.



What made me get up, aside from the fact that i basically
have no ass, so laying on a floor turns to bone-against-carpet
rather quickly, was the ever present thought that we have it SO
good in this life. Most of our problems are really just part of
life. And while it is ok for them to exist, i realy just feel so
bored watching as stupid, inept, foolish adults fan the fires of
a hopeless shitstorm, taking us all with them on their poorly
designed carousel, when all the while i have had dreams of the
most ridiculous mash-up creation that is a mix of a ferris wheel,
a roller coaster, and a virtual reality machine, and even though
i am so afraid to ride it, i know its so much better than this
loopy-ass carousel of idiotic
BudweiserAdCarCommercialGasWar600$WorthlessAssTaxRebateCutEducationFundsAndHealthCareWhileCyclonesDestroyMillionsAndRenegageIdiotsTryToProfitAndFoxNewsReportsAboutBoobsAndandandandadnandandnandnandnannnnd....